I've been sadly unexcited about a lot of things this year. Top of the list of things that I'm unenthused about would be Christmas. I have hardly listened to my Christmas playlist at all. Possibly this has to do with the fact that I've been feeling not so great this past week - even bordering on unhappiness, I suppose - which is hard to get over when you are so distanced from the people that make you feel better, in whatever little ways those may be.
Sometimes I think I need to sleep more, but I also think that I sleep too much. I used to be better than this, I feel. Better at pushing through, better at forcing things out of mind, better at dealing with life. I suspect I am a lot of things that I did not used to (want to) be. I'm not sure when, but somewhere along the way, I've been sapped of joy, creativity, energy, etc.
(Why am I so afraid?)
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