Honestly speaking, I feel a little more stressed now that I'm actually on holidays than I was when it was exam season. I don't dismiss all that I've accomplished so far this year as unimportant, and I don't think that relaxing and enjoying my holiday is undeserved. But at the same time, that all fades when it comes to thinking about what I could be doing, should be doing, could have, should have, done instead. I should have put forth more effort into finding something to do this year. Why didn't I look for a place to work at? Why didn't I plan for even something like volunteer work to build up experience, make myself more appealing for hire? Being (occasionally) awesome isn't enough; you need experience to back it up when you want a job. Doubtless this is exacerbated by my younger sister getting hired before me and leaving me as the only one not making my own way. Even so, I don't take the initiative often enough. And it hurts to think about. Because I know that I could have done more.
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