There are an endless amount of things to do and not enough time to do them all in because I can't get started until I get over this emotional issue. All I want to do is curl up in bed or throw a tantrum, though that would not be productive at all and would only serve to make me even more frustrated.
I haven't failed anything since first year and I don't plan on doing it again. There's so much going wrong though, I don't know where to begin or what to do. I hate technology, I hate group assignments, I hate things being unclear, I hate not being able to find the time to even take care of my body - I hate these health problems, I hate you drawing attention to my lack of participation, I hate writing, I hate not being able to write, I hate not being able to see you, I hate you not contacting me, I hate not accomplishing things that I was supposed to do
I'm so fucking stressed and tired and just plain unhappy. And it just makes me so fucking frustrated and makes me want to cry. Or at least use the word 'fuck' a lot. I fucking hate that you think it's okay to just fucking not show up and leave me in the lurch with a flimsy as fuck excuse, then have the fucking nerve to just defer a semester and not even fucking bother to tell me about it for two fucking weeks and fuck me over for an assessment. I fucking hate that you're shoving this part onto me when I'm clearly the weakest of our six. I fucking hate that we're not doing shit until the last minute, that we're changing shit up in the fucking two days before the due date. I don't fucking care that it's not even worth all that much, I fucking care because doing this shit requires time and effort that I really don't fucking have right now, especially when you all fucking know about how I can barely even fucking sleep anymore.
Fuck uni, fuck you all, fuck all of this shit.
This is so fucking unfair, I just want it to all be fixed or over and done with. I just want to not fucking feel this way, like there's no fucking end in sight, like I'm helpless and strained end to end and under so much pressure to live up to expectations. I just want everything and, at this point, everyone, to go the fuck away so that I can fucking deal with my life again.
I hate feeling like everything is so fucking out of control and that I'm fucking up my entire life.
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