even though leaving c was the hardest thing i've done and i was so damn terrified for so long afterwards this hurts infinitely more. back then at least i knew there wasn't anything to save. i knew i had to get out before i got even more fucked up or before anyone else got hurt too.
i didn't know anything this time.
maybe i've just been pretending this whole time that all the things they said to me were wrong.
i'm not enough. i'm not worth it. i never will be.
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